Updated: Dec 8, 2020
If I could reduce all of my motivation, all of my pain, all of my joy and all of my purpose into one word then what would that word be?
For me its the word RELATIONSHIP.
Somewhere burried deep inside I fear the words ISOLATED and ALONE and even worse the words ABANDONED or REJECTED.
I think all of my choices at their very core might be driven by a primary need for relationship? Strip back striving for career progression, "likes" or wearing the latest Nike's and you'll find a heart hunting for acceptance. (Note: I'm too old for Nike!)
Strip back my choice to stay in toxic or abusive friendships and you'll find a fear of being alone. Strip back giving myself away to be used as a play thing for others and you'll find a past of feeling alone and a void to be filled. When I follow the crowd, even though that crowd isn't going where I know I need to be, then what am I chasing? What drives me to seek out relationship even if it's harmful?
Relationship, in the end, is all that really matters and all that we instinctively chase. As important as the air I breathe. Whether I'm conscious of it or not!
You see... MY INSIDES CAN ONLY BE FILLED BY RELATIONSHIP.
But that means my hunger might leave me open to relationships that hurt me. When I'm starving I'll eat junk food!!
Bottom line: I'M ONLY HURT AND ONLY HEALED IN RELATIONSHIP.
Counselling at it's very simplist and very best is a healing relationship. But so is a loving friendship, a loving partner or the words of a loving Father. Love is the key. If relationships have hurt dont let that drive you into isolation. Seek out a healing relationship.
Ric Wilton Counselling Ballymena